CASE STUDY #1: No More Temper
Michael was the culprit in this relationship with his wife, Jeanette, only he didn't know it. As is often the case with abusive people, he blamed Jeanette for not "understanding" him. But today, as this couple speaks with me, Michael claims, "We have an unshakeable...
Why Should DrDeb Care About YOU?
I thought I'd tell you a bit about me and about where I can see *you* going…. I have a Ph.D. But what I am most proud of is my children and grandchildren. They all came out well! (and cute!) I've got four children; three are married with kids and they're all great!...
This Is What You Can Expect
If you saw my Masterclass (https://drdeb.com/LoveYourselfLoveYourMarriage) then you know why reaching out to help people means so much to me, why I will probably still be doing this work when I'm 102. Now, the next question is: Can I help YOU? I help married people --...
What His Boss Didn’t Tell Him When His Anger Flared Up (But Should Have)
"Those idiots," Michael thought. "Can't they see that they're making a huge mistake?" Just then his boss, Jim, came in. "Michael, can you explain what, exactly, happened between you and the engineering team? Three people came to me and complained separately." "Sure,"...
She Loved Her Anger But I Got Her To See Differently
"Of course I know that people aren't supposed to lose it," Tammy said defensively. "I'm not stupid. I didn't just get born yesterday. I know how to act. In fact," she went on with an air of superiority about her, "I've got 12 people under my management at work and...
Why People Won’t Show Their Love
When Shelly was three, she saw her mother smashing dishes in the kitchen and she became very frightened. She heard her father's loud voice and she ran and hid in the back of her closet. She loved that closet. It was so large that there was plenty of room for a little...
Her Anger Gave Her Power
"Maybe it’s the Fighting Irish in me," Kelly said with an engaging smile, "but to answer your question, I prefer to get angry than to be civil and work assertively with someone who is bothering me." Well, that was honest. Kelly came from a tough background. (Well,...
IS PAIN GOOD?
I was reading Steven Stosny the other day and he said something profound. He has been working for decades on helping people who've been not merely angry, but sometimes enraged, to feel compassion. This is no easy matter because highly angry people often don't feel...
Two People Stuck In One Person’s Anger. Here’s The Way Out
Kim would work himself up into such a frenzy that he spit. When he was on a tirade, nothing could stop him. Even himself. The "himself" is the saddest part of this because in his quiet moments he hated his anger and he hated himself for it, but he could not stop. Or...
Men, You Cannot Afford To Continue This
Mike was pretty unhappy. He said he didn't want to think about the possibility that his wife would end the marriage. He spoke with great pain about that fight they had in which the horrible "D" word was uttered. As we were going through the call and I was trying to...