One woman memorably said - as I reassured her that my program could bring out in her husband the kind, sensitive, and empathetic man he really was underneath all the hostility and abuse he'd shown for 20 years - "I don't care if he turns into Mother Theresa. I don't...

 This was one of the most thoughtful people I've known. I mean, here I was, the therapist, and whenever she sent me an email, Mary would ask how I was doing. Talk about the opposite of narcissistic. She always wanted the best for everyone.  Mary was the type of person...

 Once maybe 20 years ago, a scared woman came to me wondering how to handle her husband Sammy whom she called "evil." Well, that's pretty harsh. It turned out he was a member of the mafia.  Who knows if he had something to do with any bodies at the bottom of the...

. . . How Do We Do That?    If this group is anything, it is non-blaming. I hate pointing fingers.  When we do, then we sound like little kids in the schoolyard, "nah nah na-nah nah." That's not a fun life, feeling like the bad one all the time.  So along came...

 You know that feeling: You try really, I mean you try really hard to be aware, sensitive, kind, thoughtful, hold your tongue - - and by golly, somehow or other you screwed up again.  Will there never be an end to it? I mean, no one is perfect; how can I get past...

 Let's start with some definitions: Compassion, empathy, and sympathy.  Empathy  Maybe you've heard the word "empath." An empath is someone who cries with you because they literally feel your pain. Sometimes this is a very good thing. At a funeral, for example, the...

 "I am so sad." "I feel like I've lost years of my life through the mistakes I've made." "I keep messing up; I don't like myself because of it."  "The only person in the world who ever loved me was Him (or Her) and they've left." "I need a drink." (Substitute any...

Part 5: Trigger Tracking  This is the last in our series. When you go over all the posts from the first 4 parts and you add in the Juxtaposition which I did September 1, 2022, plus this one, you've got the essence of the most important tools that we use to help you...

Part 4: Distress Tolerance  You will find Parts 1, 2, and 3 fascinating, so I suggest you go back and check those out. Meanwhile, let's plunge into what Distress Tolerance is and how it is a great transition to Internal Family Systems (IFS) work.  Distress Tolerance...

Part 3: Positive Thinking  We're on a roll here. You're starting to get all the tools of my course for free! Yikes! Why would I do that? Because if I've helped you, great. And if you need more help, then you will know exactly what it is we do and how we do it. And you...