Did you know that right now, it’s possible for you to fall in love — with each other — again?
I’ll explain how in just a second.
But first, let’s talk about why so many people think this is impossible.
The truth is that you’ve been LET DOWN.
Let down by so many marriage counseling “experts” who want you to believe that sitting and arguing with each other or complaining to the therapist is the key to fixing your marriage.
And on the surface, I get it. It sounds good!
After all, if the therapist doesn’t know how you really are when you’re together, how is he supposed to know what needs fixing? And if he doesn’t know what you perceive to be the problem, how does he know what it is?
But let me just come right out and say it: This marriage counseling approach is DUMB. Here’s why:
- If you spend an hour “practicing” how angry and upset you are, you will come out of there more angry and upset than you were when you went in.
- If you spend that hour learning nothing new about how to love and be in love with each other, you also will come out hopeless.
- If all you do is express negative feelings, your brain literally hard-wires those negative feelings in deeper, so that as you go forward, the negative will spread to everything in your life. You might end up in depression.
(Then someone will prescribe pills for that. Don’t let me go there.)
But the biggest reason of all is that you will give up on the marriage and on your dream of a beautiful, long, happy life together …and that’s an absolute tragedy because it doesn’t have to be that way. The cost to you – emotionally and economically – of divorce is too great to allow that to happen, not to mention the emotional cost to your children of living in a shattered family.
So if that’s the old and DUMB way…what’s my new and SMART way?
Simple: Get the tools first with complete accountability. Did you ever have a therapist text you at 10 PM to answer your question? I don’t think so. But if you need an answer, isn’t that level of care on the part of the coach/therapist helpful?
So, skip over the arguments altogether. Don’t even bother discussing it because it will always end up with butting heads. Now is not – yet – the time to “work on the marriage.”
Instead learn every skill necessary to have the ideal. beautiful, romantic, joyous marriage you need before you even try to discuss anything with each other. And your coach (me) will know how you’re doing and what you’re missing every step of the way.
Here’s why this is BRILLIANT:
When you have the skills first, you have the means to communicate successfully before you try to get into heavy discussions.
When you are learning the skills, there is no pressure whatsoever on you. You don’t have to prove points, get understood, or anything. You are stress free.
Most important: Because each person is learning separately, all blame and finger pointing is eliminated.
And the best part is that this whole process will build your self-love and your self-esteem at the same time … and that’s what’s going to enable you to succeed spectacularly in acquiring the tools to really, deeply relate to your spouse — without any downside whatsoever.
Do you see how powerful that is? Once you know the tools, you can get past the pain, get to know each other in a new, deeper way, be vulnerable, and respect with amazement the miles you have both come on this journey.
Here’s the thing, though: no one else is teaching this. And the ones that are trying, are missing all the key points.
I’d love to talk you about how you can use this idea to completely save your marriage quickly.
Call me if you’re sick and tired of the same old same old and you finally want results! https://drdeb.com/book