Hey, DrDeb, that’s a great question. What would YOU do for me that others can’t? Or don’t?
Here is what you want and what I will deliver:
* You want to know what is the problem anyway? Why do we keep going round and round and getting nowhere?*
Everyone has gifts. I cannot sing. If I started singing, even under my breath, you’d say, “Okay, thanks. We’ve heard enough from you!”
That’s okay. Singing is not my gift. Maybe it’s yours. What is my gift is that I see the patterns and the reasons for the patterns very quickly. I get it. Talk to me for a few minutes, and I’ve got you dialed in. We will cut through the #$%^ to get to the exact clarity you want and need.
Therapy ought to work like that but it doesn’t. There are 3 reasons for this:
1. Therapists are poorly trained. Sorry but it does take a good, solid understanding of how human beings tick to be able to do this. Most therapists are only Masters level graduates.
What you learn in Masters programs is how to follow recipes. Meaning, you learn by rote what to say to clients. There isn’t enough time in Masters programs to teach students how to think.
So that’s already different. I have been working at a doctoral level for a lot of years.
2. Therapists are NOT generally trained as Marriage & Family Therapists. Imagine this: only 12 % of ALL therapists have been trained specifically in Marriage & Family Therapy. And very frankly, even those who consider themselves “trained” maybe took one or two courses. That’s it! How many actually have the degree in MFT?
Dept of Labor stats for 2011 say there are 552,000 psychotherapists in total (psychologists, mental health counselors, social workers, and MFTs). The American Association of Marriage & Family Therapists says that 50,000 of them are MFTs – there you go: 10%.
3. There’s a bias against marriage in today’s world. Very sad. I’ve heard story after story where a therapist will see a couple one time — one time!! — and decide the marriage is hopeless, telling the couple to go get a divorce.
Let’s take a worst case scenario: Verbal or Emotional abuse. This can change! People who learned to be abusive can unlearn it! That is, in fact, my specialty so I know!
My God! What a terrible thing to do to people!
4. Therapy is problem-oriented. You’ve experienced that, probably. “What’s wrong with you?” Then the next thing therapists are supposed to do is give a Diagnosis of what’s wrong with people.
The reality is that diagnosis is culture-driven. Different cultures a couple thousand years ago would accept, for example, people talking to those that others can’t see as being prophets. In Europe, because of the Holocaust, there is a shying away from diagnosis. They know that the de-humanizing of people starts with putting labels on them as “different.”
Every therapist in the US must learn how to diagnose. Every state has a licensing requirement and within that is a requirement to give diagnoses. I know. I taught Masters degree students how to do this. Yuch. I didn’t care for it but it is required so I have the license.
I simply do not think in terms of psychopathology when I meet people. I think in terms of their strengths! What is right about them? What are they doing well? What is their ability to learn new things? How willing are they to try out things they never thought of before? These are strengths! These are signs of a person being able to grow!
Let’s fix the problem and not shy away from challenges!
Why be caught in an endless running wheel like a rat in a cage? Why put up with bad day followed by worse day? When you’re miserable, frightened, lonely, worried about the future, worried about what your kids saw and heard. Why feel your self-confidence sinking more and more? Why lose sleep over the state of your marriage?
There’s no need for that! All you need to do is book a call with me to start on the path to Getting The Marriage You Want: https://drdeb.com/book. Don’t let problems pile up. The call is free and I ❤️ talking to people so NEVER feel like you’re “taking up my time.” You’re not!
What will your life look like in 3 months if you DON’T talk to me now?