You are sick and tired of this.
Sick of him/her not being home. Sick of the lies. Sick of the distance, the disconnection. Sick of putting up with feeling second class, unimportant.
You cannot tolerate it. And why should you? You’re a good person. No reason whatever for this to be going on.
You are done. This is no way to live.
I agree with you. This is not how life should be lived. It’s not even living. It’s worse than barely existing. It’s as if you could put a minus sign in front of it and say it’s less than being alive although it’s not quite being dead. Almost, though.
And it’s not as if you didn’t try to fix it. You certainly did.
You dragged them to marriage counseling. You do not want to get going on how that fiasco went.
You did nothing but rehash problems. You wanted to move on but there was no moving on. You were stuck in the past.
You both agreed, at least, on one thing – the counseling was less than worthless.
You retreated into your usual corners.
Where will it go from here? Divorce?
That’s a bad option; not at all a pleasant experience besides being costly. What’s more, you will be left only with bad memories and pain afterward. Try another possibility.
Try working on getting the marriage you want. The vehicle to get there is the Love Yourself Love Your Marriage program.
It really IS possible to learn to be different: To be caring, concerned, connected. To get out of victim mode and into solution mode. To actually be a listener. To put your partner first, and them to put you first.
Now, you might say, but we tried counseling that and it did not work.
You did not try me.
And what I offer is NOT counseling. Here are the key ingredients you get from this 12-week hybrid of group and personal coaching and 1:1 therapy program:
*Taming Your Triggers – Gets around the nonsense that you should be able to use willpower to stop reacting badly. You can’t help it! Instead, you’ll learn how to bypass your automatic, unconscious reactions.
*Self-Validation – Finally stop the self-blame, the self-hate. Stop the endless worrying over what you did wrong. Replace it with self-acceptance, -love, -compassion, -nurturing, -forgiveness, and -care.
*Compassionate Honesty because now that your Self is full of love, you can each speak your truth in a way that uplifts the marriage and deepens the connection between you.
How do you do all that? With written, verbal, meditative, and thinking exercises.
By the time you get to Compassionate Honesty, you’ve laid the foundation to have a good conversation, one of depth and kindness – and truth. Those three together: depth, kindness, and truth, are the foundation of intimacy.
And I make sure you do all the work, too, with the accountability system that I have in place!
You probably think: Not with my spouse.
You may be right. Then again, you may not be. Find out.
Book a free call with me and let’s see. Then We will map out a game plan for you. I’ll bet no one else did that for you, right? https://drdeb.com/book
(Please note that after you schedule the appointment, you’ll be taken to a short application form to fill out. That will save us about 20 min out of the call; that’s why I need it done!)