If you saw my Masterclass (https://drdeb.com/LoveYourselfLoveYourMarriage) then you know why reaching out to help people means so much to me, why I will probably still be doing this work when I’m 102.
Now, the next question is: Can I help YOU?
I help married people — but singles too.
The reason is that for a happy marriage you need to feel good about yourself. That’s why, to get the marriage you want, you have to first love yourself.
So here are the situations people find themselves in who can benefit from working with me –
- You feel like you’ve lost your “voice”
- You’ve got a temper
- You have a history of pain and loss
- You are triggered and can’t get over those triggers
- You have fears that haunt you
- You just don’t love/like yourself
- You’ve hurt one another
- You’re strangers, ships passing in the night – but don’t want to be
- You go over and over your mistakes, or someone else’s, and you never move on
- You’re upset or unhappy all the time
- You get into squabbles with people because you’re miserable
You might be wondering why the marriage requires you both to be happy with yourselves. Well, the couples who look good — aren’t. That’s reality.
Generally, if Sue is always angry at Bob, even if Bob is a pretty patient person, he will not be happy. And Sue isn’t happy, right? Who could be happy if they’re always angry?
See how that works? For the marriage to be good, Sue has to be happy deep inside.
But is there something Bob could do differently? Maybe she’s angry at him because he’s not listening, not there. Well, then he also needs some work, right? How can he feel connected to Sue if he’s not even listening to her?
Looks like Bob and Sue could benefit from a closer look at themselves.
It’s all about being able to communicate safely – without getting hurt. I’ve discovered the real reasons marriages fail. And it’s not because they “don’t communicate.”
Not communicating is the result, not the cause, of the problem.
Here are three ways I help fix failing marriages. This is what couples were missing and here is what they will get after working with me:
- Taming Your Triggers so you don’t bite your spouse’s head off, or go into victim mode, when they say the wrong thing. There will be no more triggers. Gone!
- Self-Validation so no one can ever undermine you again.
- Compassionate Honesty so you can speak your Truth. But (and what a big “but!) with compassion! Not anger. Not resentment. Gone! Instead your words bring you closer.
When Bob and Sue do this self-work, here’s the difference in how they are:
- They feel calm, centered
- They appreciate who they are
- They forgive themselves for mistakes because they’re human
- They work hard to improve themselves
- They are okay with their spouse’s mistakes
- They are kind to each other about things that go wrong
- They get over things; they don’t stay in a bad place
- They recognize when they’re triggered and get out of it quickly
- They can talk about stuff, even intense, heavy things
- They feel healed and whole, no longer hurt
- They are so proud of the steps they’ve taken and the progress they’ve made
- They feel safe now with each other, ready to be vulnerable
- They’re happy, having fun, enjoying life
What a difference, right?
So How Do I Get This Outcome?
I’ve created something far better than old-fashioned argue-with-each other therapy. It’s a 12-week intensive group coaching program with 1:1 and joint therapy and a powerful educational component. It’s called Love Yourself, Love Your Marriage.
But – and this is most important – whether or not you decide to become a private client of mine is not relevant to me; it’s not about me after all. My one goal is to see that you get what you want and you deserve out of your life – and particularly this marriage.
When you book a call with me, you will learn what no one else has told you about yourself: the real causes of the breakdown in your marriage. Then we will map out a strategy for correcting it. https://drdeb.com/book
(Please note that after you schedule the appointment, you’ll be taken to a short application form to fill out. That will save us about 20 min out of the call; that’s why I need it done!)