Did you ever hear the story of the two frogs? One was thrown into a pot of boiling water and he jumped out very quickly – and was saved.
The other frog was put in an empty pot. Shortly, some nice, cool, refreshing water was being filled up in the pot and the frog was very happy. Then the pot went on the stove and the light was turned on. The frog noticed the pot start to get warm. It was a bit uncomfortable. But we can all put up with a little discomfort, right? Life is not perfect! There will be moments that aren’t so good….
However, the water started to get warmer and started to heat up. It was very uncomfortable. But the frog was USED TO THAT, after all, so he stayed in the hot water. A point came when it became too hot for the frog to survive, and he died.
How many of us are that second frog?
We put up and put up and put up.
After all, life is not always perfect. We are not supposed to be softies. We are not supposed to be selfish. Right?
Right?
We put up with terrible coldness. We put up with name calling. We put up with suspicions we don’t want to think about. We put up with wondering where our mate even is. We put up with being falsely accused. We put up with fights that never end. We put up with never being understood, not being heard – eternal frustration. We put up with so much!
Shouldn’t we? What’s the choice? We certainly don’t want to break up our families. We love – or once loved – our spouses. We love our children and want the best for them. Right?
Absolutely. All that is true.
But don’t be the second frog.
Don’t allow yourself to get so used to the heat that you just numb out from all of it and let it get worse and worse. You can think you’re surviving but you’re not. What I didn’t tell you about the second frog is that if he were a human, he might turn to alcohol, drugs, gambling, porn, shopping, or other addictions.
He might have high blood pressure or a heart condition. He might go around miserable every single day and one day end everything the wrong way.
Because neither frogs nor humans were meant to suffer. You do not have to suffer. Nor should you.
A several decades ago, Martin Seligman discovered the odd truth about the second frog. He called it Learned Helplessness. When people are put in a situation where they could press a button to stop a known shock – they don’t even bother – after having been shocked quite a bit already.
The good news is that it is possible to get out of it.
It may be learned, but it can be unlearned.
That’s my mission, actually. To help people unlearn this. They – and you – must use every ounce of your Will to take ALL the necessary steps to get your mind out of that bad place. I’ve created a beautiful 9-week intensive group and private therapy/coaching hybrid called Love Yourself. In it, there’s an education piece and then there’s a putting what you learned into practice piece. And then there is me on the sidelines cheering you on, available nearly 24/7 for your texts, so as to help you up, out of that dark pit of sitting in the pot and getting boiled.
Your happiness ought to be your priority. If you want to know how to make that happen – without divorce – book a free call with me: https://drdeb.com/book. Together. Let’s hop out of the boiling water fast.
When you’ve booked, be sure to fill out the application that is on another page you will be taken to. That info will help us in our meeting and it probably saves 20 min of talk time.