How To Overcome Abuse, Cheating, and Neglect
I would like to share with you a compliment I got recently. I never know what people are thinking until you tell me, and I was very touched by this compliment. I asked this individual why they reached out to me and they said something like, “You have a way forward no matter what the past might have been,”
So this individual sought me out over the other therapist/coaches out there. And I loved hearing this take on my approach because it nailed exactly what it is I have to offer, or at least one of the things that I think stands out about my approach.
So lets break this down: the past and the future.
PAST
I don’t believe in labels. I think they’re rude. I always have a mental picture of a psych-type person sitting behind a humongous desk peering over a piece of paper and annihilating the listener with a psychiatric label.
Who am I to pin labels on other human beings? Who are any of us? Do you really think the clergy-person or psychiatrist is free from having their own hangups, fowl play, hurtful behavior? No. Guess what? We’re all human here. That means we make mistakes. Sometimes we hurt people.
It’s because that is all we ever knew. We know how to solve problems the way we learned when we were six years old. We grow up with these coping mechanisms that worked when we were children and we didn’t learn anything else.
So whatever your diagnosis, I don’t believe in it.
And I’m not alone. I didn’t invent this approach. But I adhere to it. It suits me. If a person wants something – let’s say it’s their marriage – I can help them be the BEST version of themselves possible. It just depends on whether they actually want it. That is the element that is out of my control.
But if they have had trauma, or their own abuse, or they’ve been abusive, or cheated, or neglected, whatever it is, if they want a better, happier way to live, I am here.
The past never dictates the future. That’s how I see it.
FUTURE
Just because a coach or therapist accepts your past as being normal given what you were under when whatever it was happened doesn’t mean that that’s enough. There’s still the question of what to do now. You still need to know how to pave a way into happiness and normalcy. We can’t be suffering from pain and rejection forever. That is no good.
This is why I took all the best scientific research – yes, research at universities (I ❤ research!) – and chose exactly what would work best, be simplest to understand, and easy enough to practice so as to heal from trauma, love yourself, esteem yourself, care for yourself, be happy, be independent, be giving, be kind, be able to talk!, to forgive, to apologize, to bond, to connect, to feel one-ness, to love! Yes all that!
I chose all that and put it together for you. All you have to do is want it.
Well, there’s more to it than that. It has to be do-able. So how is it do-able? With daily written, verbal, and thinking exercises, as well as exercises to change your body’s state. That’s how. In an organized system of delivery. And with my Accountability System. All that. That’s why people seek me out: We have a goal. We get there.
If that appeals to you, contact me: https://drdeb.com/book. When you’ve booked, be sure to fill out the application that is on another page you will be taken to. That info will help us in our meeting and it probably saves 20 min of talk time.