Someone said something recently that was all about Dreams. And all about how this new year could be for them – if they would permit it.Like most of the couples searching for answers in this group, they’d been married 20 years.
And, like most of the couples, they’d suffered terribly from each other over those 20 years: feeling alone, misunderstood, misjudged, on the defense all the time, exhausted with the endless tension, and miserable.But they worked with us and made progress. They could air their grievances without sounding accusatory and they even would throw in a positive statement about one another now and then.
After only three joint sessions (following a lot of individual work to get more or less past the self-hate for one and the escapism for the other) I was quite pleased and told them so.I painted a picture of what to expect coming up: being able to actually have Self-to-Self conversations in a relaxed, enjoyable way.
But they were not buying it.
Finally, exasperated, one of them said the words I hear way too often: “I can’t picture it.”
THAT’S the problem.
How can a person go in a good direction without a picture of what it would be like to get there?Did they stop dreaming?
If they did, I get it.
If you dream of being able to actually talk – to connect, to share, to be vulnerable – and then it never happens, the disappointment would be crushing.Unbearable.
Better not to dream. Play it safe.
Live in misery and just take it.
Take it on the chin.
Get used to it.
Tell themselves that’s what life really is and the rest is fairy tales.Yeah, being happy is fairy tales.
That’s heartbreaking….And….And. . . .
….What if they’re wrong?
What if they’re wrong?
I mean, what proof does anyone have for the “fairy tale” theory?
Dr Richard C Schwartz, the founder of IFS (Internal Family Systems), the method my team and I champion, guarantees that it’s not fairy tales. He guarantees this method leads to a good place, the place couple dream of.How about that?
I heard him say it myself this past November when I attended a class he gave. So I told this couple to take back their dreams. No one has to be a prisoner to hopelessness.To a jail sentence of a miserable life.
Take back your dreams, I told them. Don’t be afraid to envision good and want it, strive for it, search for it.This Thursday, I’m going to do another Special in my Livestream: A complete overview of what IFS (Internal Family Systems) is and why it can make your dreams come true.
Don’t take my word for it, or Dr. Schwartz’s either, for that matter.Learn and understand why we say it works and why we say it can happen for you, too.
Between now and Thursday, please read and watch the material in your Link Tree list. If you don’t know what I’m talking about go toa) the Welcome email I sent to you when you joined my Facebook group.
b) the Welcome message I gave you personally in Messenger when you joined.
c) the Guides section of the group also has the link tree link.
(I can’t post it here because Facebook’s algorithms take down posts with links.)
Never stop dreaming. You only get one chance at this Life.