by DrDeb Hirschhorn | May 6, 2013 | Marriage and Relationships
Part I When people have long-term marriages and things are bad, we can work on fixing them. It’s better to resolve problems so kids can grow up in a home with two loving parents. But you aren’t married and you have your life ahead of you, so why get bogged down with...
by DrDeb Hirschhorn | Apr 23, 2013 | Marriage and Relationships
In 1974, Dr. Murray Straus of the University of New Hampshire was interested in testing the prevalent theory of the time that said “venting” works to let off emotional steam when someone is angry. Surveying over 300 college students about aggression in their homes, he...
by DrDeb Hirschhorn | Mar 5, 2013 | Marriage and Relationships
“I swear,” he said to me, shaking his head, “she is so stupid—.” I cut him off quickly with, “Stupid? Is she stupid? Didn’t she graduate college?” “Well, yes,” he stammered, “but, please, how could someone do something like that?” “Okay,” I answered, “that’s a...
by DrDeb Hirschhorn | Jan 1, 2013 | Marriage and Relationships
Kerry got into it with his brother-in-law again. Somehow this happened with some, almost predictable, regularity about twice a year. Each time was painful for them and for the witnesses. Yet, it seemed doomed to repeat itself. And in that horrible cycle, Kerry would...
by DrDeb Hirschhorn | May 1, 2012 | Marriage and Relationships
Calista and Ben were bickering again. “I think going to a beach for a week would just be so boring,” Ben said, concerning their vacation plans. “Not only would I be bored but you would be, too. You think you just need to lay out in the sun and do nothing, but I know...
by DrDeb Hirschhorn | Apr 25, 2012 | Marriage and Relationships
If your marriage is so very bad that you are on the brink of divorce, then that is precisely when you should not divorce. Here are 15 reasons why: Don’t Divorce When Things Are Awful 1. Whatever made you angry has no chance of being resolved in court. In...
by DrDeb Hirschhorn | Apr 16, 2012 | Marriage and Relationships
Check out my last post to understand this one. I gave a simple solution to dealing with a person who cannot tolerate the smell of blame and therefore will not accept any feedback that he or she hurt your feelings. The problem, I could hear you saying, even before I...
by DrDeb Hirschhorn | Apr 12, 2012 | Marriage and Relationships
It’s amazing how many people can’t seem to apologize. Here are some reason that this might happen: They grew up in homes where people were blamed whenever things went wrong. Therefore, apologizing is not only an admission that they did something wrong—which they...
by DrDeb Hirschhorn | Apr 10, 2012 | Marriage and Relationships
You may remember I was letting you peek into the lives of Cally and Tim. Tim was a busy, focused man and when he needed something from Cally, he would simply give her marching orders. His demeanor, though cold, was not rude, and Cally could not put her finger on why...
