by DrDeb Hirschhorn | Apr 12, 2019 | Marriage and Relationships
When people are miserable and they want out of the marriage, I do get their feelings. Right now they are sick and tired of something that you’re doing or have done. Maybe they’re sick of the same annoying irritating tone of voice that you give every time...
by DrDeb Hirschhorn | Apr 9, 2019 | Marriage and Relationships
Today I wanted you to understand what I stand for. It’s more than “saving a marriage.” I want you to be happy. I believe that everyone should be happy. Now, right away, you can jump on this and say, “Wait a minute, what about people in misery,...
by DrDeb Hirschhorn | Apr 5, 2019 | Marriage and Relationships
The answer is zero. Why do I say that? Because the unwritten rule in therapy is that you don’t have to accomplish anything. There is no guarantee that you’ll get “there.” In fact, neither one of you knows where “there” is. I know. I...
by DrDeb Hirschhorn | Apr 2, 2019 | Marriage and Relationships
OKAY, DRDEB, PEOPLE DO CHANGE, BUT NOT THE PERSON I’M MARRIED TO Why would someone say that? Why would they be so dead set against seeing that the person they were married to could change? Here’s my theory: Research says that we make decisions and THEN we...
by DrDeb Hirschhorn | Mar 29, 2019 | Marriage and Relationships
Not always, but mostly, the burden of change in the marriage falls on the man. Why is that? Statistically, 70% of divorces are initiated by women. That’s a phenomenal number. Why is that? It seems that the old saying is true, “happy wife, happy...
by DrDeb Hirschhorn | Mar 26, 2019 | Marriage and Relationships
I was on the phone with a woman who was desperate to fix her marriage and my heart broke for her. But I knew I would not be helping her. She started off telling me the names her husband called her and then I was thinking, “I work with verbal abusers; no...
by DrDeb Hirschhorn | Mar 22, 2019 | Marriage and Relationships
I’m a therapist. I believe in therapy. But…. My heart is broken from the number of people who have spent months and years in therapy and …. not changed their lives one iota. I understand that “therapy” means healing and sometimes the only thing...
by DrDeb Hirschhorn | Mar 17, 2019 | Marriage and Relationships
Why isn’t it working? You know you can change; you’ve done it. You’re not the same person you were before your marriage, right? You’re a little wiser. Maybe you’re also a little more hurt? Or a lot more? But you know you’ve changed....
by DrDeb Hirschhorn | Feb 26, 2019 | Marriage and Relationships
Did you ever hear the story of the two frogs? One was thrown into a pot of boiling water and he jumped out very quickly – and was saved.The other frog was put in an empty pot. Shortly, some nice, cool, refreshing water was being filled up in the pot and the frog...
