by DrDeb Hirschhorn | Sep 22, 2020 | Marriage and Relationships
Isn’t it nice to go to someone who really listens? I mean after trying and trying to get through to your spouse – for years – to finally have the therapist sit there calmly and patiently listening, isn’t that wonderful? And then they get it....
by DrDeb Hirschhorn | Sep 18, 2020 | Marriage and Relationships
How To Wipe Out Destructive Patterns “How long is this going to go on? This is ridiculous! I’ve told him not once but a thousand times. I won’t take it any-more! It’s got to stop.” It doesn’t matter “what” has got to...
by DrDeb Hirschhorn | Sep 15, 2020 | Marriage and Relationships
You know the story of the guy who was abusive, had a temper, was controlling and demanding, got divorced because of all that and managed to keep it together long enough for a new girl to fall in love with him; and of course she never saw a hint of all the rotten...
by DrDeb Hirschhorn | Sep 8, 2020 | Marriage and Relationships
Eva walks in the door and Tom, her husband, barely looks at her, barely speaks to her. Tom is stealing Eva’s happiness. Why? Why would he do that? He’ll tell you that he’s not happy. He’ll tell you that Eva is the problem, the reason....
by DrDeb Hirschhorn | Sep 4, 2020 | Marriage and Relationships
The answer is zero. Why do I say that? Because the unwritten rule in therapy is that you don’t have to accomplish anything. There is no guarantee that you’ll get “there.” In fact, neither one of you knows where “there” is. I know....
by DrDeb Hirschhorn | Sep 1, 2020 | Marriage and Relationships
Maybe Some People Change, Just Not My Spouse Hey Spouse, It hurts for your partner to no longer believe in you. It steals your possibilities away, right? Basically, it says that you are a robot that cannot escape your programming. As if you didn’t have free...
by DrDeb Hirschhorn | Aug 25, 2020 | Marriage and Relationships
I was on the phone with a woman who was desperate to fix her marriage and my heart broke for her. But I knew I would not be helping her. She started off telling me the names her husband called her and then I was thinking, “I work with verbal abusers; no...
by DrDeb Hirschhorn | Aug 21, 2020 | Marriage and Relationships
I was on a zoom call with a couple I’d just met. The wife had spent a year in personal counseling and found it helpful. The husband went briefly to counseling for a crisis with his sister but never mentioned a marriage problem that had come up. What’s...
by DrDeb Hirschhorn | Aug 18, 2020 | Marriage and Relationships
As I look at all the people I’ve worked with over time and the people that I’m currently helping across rocky terrain, one thing becomes clear to me: Our society dismisses emotions. It’s normal to dismiss something you don’t understand. Not too...
