MYTH: Coaching Doesn’t Focus On Feelings
Coaching isn't about feelings. That's what I used to think. That is, until I put together my own coaching program. Which clearly focuses on feelings. How could it not? Feelings run the world! Politics is all about feelings. Love and marriage - of course - is certainly...
Don’t “Control” Your Temper
I always have this mental picture when I hear that someone went to "anger management" - a picture of someone gritting their teeth, panting, and trying their hardest to "control" themselves from bursting out in a fit of rage. Fingernails clawing the ledge of a rock for...
My Job Is Not To Give You A Bandaid
Therapists have given out way too many bandaids. Here are examples of bandaids: books articles listening forever and saying, "Awww" to complaints and problems How many of these have actually created changes in the reader, listener, or participant? Changes that last?...
Can You Love Someone Else More Than Yourself?
I'm not going to mince words. The answer is that if you THINK you love someone else more than yourself, it's not love in the first place. You didn't love them that much and you surely didn't love yourself that much either. Why? Why do I say that? Well, let's examine...
Why Your Wife Is Leaving
This guy was pretty unhappy. He said he didn't want to think about the possibility that his wife would end the marriage. He spoke with great pain about that fight they had in which the horrible "D" word was uttered. As we were going through the call and I was trying...
Myth: Two People Must Be On Board To Make It Work
I myself used to subscribe to this myth. After all, I was a marriage counselor. How do you do marriage counseling with only one person?? That was until, we'll call him Joey, came to see me, insisting that his wife wanted no part of therapy. We worked slowly together...
Do You Have The Guts To Face Yourself?
There was this guy who would not look at me. He sat in our session with his arms crossed, looking elsewhere. He admitted he was "irritated." His wife was sitting there in tears, and through her tears, she said, "This is what it's like for me! Now you know!" And the...
How To Fall In Love Again
Did you know that right now, it’s possible for you to fall in love -- with each other -- again? I’ll explain how in just a second. But first, let’s talk about why so many people think this is impossible. The truth is that you’ve been LET DOWN. Let down by so many...
MYTH: Narcissists Can’t Change
The prevailing wisdom is that if someone is a narcissist, they cannot change so you have to leave them. And you have total proof because YOUR narcissist did not change. You ranted. You raved. You ignored. You threatened. You're sorry to say you even had an affair. And...
Do We Ever Listen?
How many therapists, mentors, and coaches talk about Respect? Well, they ought to. Respect is key to any relationship. Just think about this: You want more respect from your spouse in your relationship, right? So, does it make sense for a mentor to not respect YOU?...