How I Turn Fighting Into Friendship
The worst thing in the world to Jim was to be dominated. He absolutely could not stand that. It was an attack on his Self-hood, his identity. "No one, not a boss, not a wife, not a child, no one should dominate me," was his theme song. Well, not a song. Obviously....
How To Find Your Hidden Parts
Why do you fight? Parts. Why do you go numb? Parts. Why do you want to escape? Parts. There are parts of you that do not do or want to do what is in your best interest. They mean well, don't get me wrong. All our parts have good intentions. BUT. . . And this is a very...
WORKSHOP It’s Not About Change It’s About Being Who You Really Are
Can you guess how many people have messaged me that their partner thinks "I don't need to change"? Well, they're right. They don't. And neither to you. And neither does anyone. See, they didn't realize that. They got defensive because they thought that's what...
What’s The Opposite Of Blame?
Okay, you are trying hard. Really. But your partner? Ugh. Forget them. They're not trying at all. And what is your partner saying? They're saying, "Well, you this and you that, so of course, I'm not [X, Y, Z]." See the picture? You're blaming, and guess what? - They...
The Power Of Internal Family Systems
If you're new to this group, this Live is a MUST. It is the key to transforming everything. I know, I know. That sounds like pie in the sky. But it's real. IFS (Internal Family Systems) revolutionizes relationships - starting with the one to yourself. Find out: * what...
Why There Is No Intimacy In (Emotional) Affairs
Okay, we all know that one-night stands aren't exactly an emotionally intimate moment. But I'm saying even when the affair - physical or by text - is "purely" emotional, there's still no intimacy. Now, I can hear y'all saying - "Now, DrDeb, hold up a...
How To Have The Strongest Connection With Your Partner: The Great Paradox of Connection
If you've never heard me speak about IFS and you have no clue what I'm talking about, you absolutely MUST tune into tonight's webinar. Nearly by accident I stumbled on IFS. It started in the middle of the pandemic in 2020. I was going to be traveling overseas - yes, I...
Why The Affair?
It's really odd how many people confess to me of having had affairs - and they don't even know why. It made them happy. Until it didn't. And if their spouse was so terrible that they just had to get away with someone else, why do they go back, anyway? What is the draw...
How To Deepen The Relationship
⚜️ People always think that the problems in their relationship is that "We can't communicate." Therefore, I used to spend many, many weeks, months in fact, teaching communication skills. And I couldn't understand why they were still arguing and not...
What To Do When Bad Feelings Take Over
We've all been there. We were fine and suddenly a storm cloud passed over us and the good mood has been robbed, snatched away from us. Sometimes we want to strike out at the person we think "caused" it. Sometimes we blame ourselves. And other times, we just feel...