Deb Hirschhorn

Will the Real Victim Please Stand Up

by Deb Hirschhorn | Sep 8, 2003 | Verbal and Emotional Abuse

Scene: A woman walks into a hospital emergency room, bloody and bruised. Her husband, teeth clenched, assists her. X-rays reveal several broken bones as well. As the staff tries to determine what happened, the husband bursts into tears, admitting he beat up his wife....

Blaming Boomerangs in Relationships

by Deb Hirschhorn | Aug 16, 2003 | Verbal and Emotional Abuse

Nothing drills down another person’s happiness like constant blame. “The sun rose so it’s your fault. There was an earthquake on the other side of the world, so, again, it’s your fault. Everything is your fault. In fact, I don’t know why...

Fear of Discipline Backfires!

by Deb Hirschhorn | Aug 15, 2003 | Parenting

Do you have a wild child? Then this article may be for you. Do you just blow up when you can’t take it any more? Then this article is definitely for you. Abuse victims, when they become parents, are handicapped in two ways. One, they have no clue how to give...

Laughter: A Requirement for Abuse Recovery

by Deb Hirschhorn | Aug 4, 2003 | Verbal and Emotional Abuse

My daughter and her husband were diligently working on changing their newborn boy’s diaper. Suddenly, without warning–there never is warning–he took aim and in seconds, they both got squirted. “We just cracked up,” she told me. They...

Those Kids Must Be Doing SOMETHING Right

by Deb Hirschhorn | Jun 8, 2003 | Parenting

The saddest family walked into my room not long ago. The tension in the air was so great, I could hardly breathe. The parents smiled and were quite pleasant as they addressed me and their children, so what was I picking up? The daughter, a teen, had a glum expression...

8 Tips for a Great Marriage

by Deb Hirschhorn | Jun 8, 2003 | Marriage and Relationships

Do you see the glass (of your marriage) as half empty or half full? The most fascinating part of this question is that both would be correct and both represent the same set of facts. No matter what you see, you can call it half empty or half full and both would be...

“You’re hypersensitive!”

by Deb Hirschhorn | Jun 8, 2003 | Verbal and Emotional Abuse

“My wife is emotionally hypersensitive. She is hurt by things that wouldn’t bother me at all if someone said them to me.” This is an excellent question. The answer is buried in the old pain of your own childhood. What happened to you went like this:...

Yelling Does NOT Get What You Want

by Deb Hirschhorn | Jun 5, 2003 | Verbal and Emotional Abuse

If I had a dollar for every time a frightened woman said, “It’s when he gets a certain look in his eye that I become really frightened,” well, then, I’d be rich. The unconscious mind picks up body language even when we are not consciously aware...

Three Facts About Abusive Body Language That You Probably Didn’t Know

by Deb Hirschhorn | Mar 1, 2003 | Verbal and Emotional Abuse

What’s the most ancient form of communication, still existing in full force in the animal world? You got it–body language. Oh, those rolling eyeballs that speak volumes! The nasty piece about body language is that people “read” it unconsciously...