CASE STUDY #3: Her Anxiety Is Gone Even Though Her Husband Is Too
Here’s what Alexandra had to say about working with me:
“My anxiety was destructive for me. I was bringing to the table past hurts that I had not worked through properly.”
Like
*being left alone a lot as a kid
*mom having an affair and I caught her
*and she lied to me about what I saw
(WOW – can you see how crazy-making that would be for someone?)
*and then my parents’ divorce
And like
*my husband going MIA
*and accusing me of stalking him
*because I WAS needy and clingy (my fear of abandonment)
“Well, I had a meltdown. I wasn’t performing well at work.”
(Can you blame her?)
“The more I wanted and needed my husband and wanted reassurance and validation, the more I was pushing him away. In working with you, I learned that I needed to stop trying to please my mom, I was able to let go of my anxiety.”
“I was looking for intensive marriage therapy and you popped up. I went back to your page numerous times before I contacted you. But I saw you genuinely care about people and you don’t have a clinical approach to things, an approach that is very sterile and unwelcoming.”
“I think a lot of people who are counselors don’t have any business being counselors. They might not be listening or they’re judgmental. And that’s not the purpose of counseling. But I really felt warmth from you and compassion from you.”
“The first thing I learned from you was helpful. I had to squash my wants and needs all my life. I have done myself a disservice through the years by putting myself last. That was a very hard exercise for me to do. From Module I, you’re really forced to look at yourself. This is about ME.”
So what did you learn in the program?
- “My anxiety has gone down. I’m not taking the Lorezipam. It was under control in three months and the fourth month it was good.
- My sleep is good; I’m not a crazy insomniac. I do take the Zoloft once in a while if I remember it.
- I’m also not sitting here pining away for him to call and losing sleep over it.
- By the next month or six weeks later, I was stopping myself doing naggy things. And I learned to stop chasing.
- I’m not mopey or sad.
- I don’t feel any shame for anything.
- In regard to my husband and I, he brings a lot of his own dark stuff to the table and I learned that I can’t fix it.
- I am no longer ruminating.
- My OCD is not as bad.
- I feel good.
- I’m happy.
- I’m looking forward to the next year being extremely successful for me.
- I know that I’m a really good person at my core. Your program has been one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself.”
What advice do you have for my readers?
*”I think a person has to be in the right place to accept all of the teachings. They need to be in a place of acceptance. Accepting who they really are. Most people haven’t liked ourselves very much and then we use coping mechanisms to avoid dealing with ourselves.
*You have to be ready to face who you are and change behaviors that keep you in the same place. That was a big thing for me.”
*Don’t be too hard on yourself. You will foul up. I had the advantage of doing it by myself, so I come to the table for my next relationship as stronger.”
*But couples do need to do the program focusing solely on themselves. So they have the comfort of knowing who they are. It was a joyful experience for me. My boss even said to me, ‘This is the person I hired! The person that’s stellar at your job.’
If you can relate to this, we could talk about my 12-week intensive group and personal coaching program including 1:1 and joint therapy and the educational piece that brings all this stuff right down to Earth.
A big piece of it aims at overcoming neediness and the anxiety that comes from it. It teaches you how to develop self-confidence, assertiveness, and strong self-love.
Schedule to talk to me (its free) https://drdeb.com/talk and we will go over your specific situation to see if this program is a fit for you.
To get deeper into this information, please join my private group right here on Facebook and get a free gift
https://www.facebook.com/groups/LoveYourselfLoveYourMarriage
When you apply to join the group please fill out the information form so I can best help you!