CASE STUDY #3: Her Anxiety Is Gone Even Though Her Husband Is Too

Here’s what Alexandra had to say about working with me:

“I’ve been in Tx for 20 years. Nothing got accomplished.
They would ask, ‘What do you think you should do?’ and I’m like, ‘No, that’s why I’m sitting here.’
It has not been as impactful as your program. It made me do the deep dive and look into myself. There’s things in you that you may not see because you’ve been doing them for so long.”

“My anxiety was destructive for me. I was bringing to the table past hurts that I had not worked through properly.”

Like

*being left alone a lot as a kid

*mom having an affair and I caught her

*and she lied to me about what I saw

(WOW – can you see how crazy-making that would be for someone?)

*and then my parents’ divorce

And like

*my husband going MIA

*and accusing me of stalking him

*because I WAS needy and clingy (my fear of abandonment)

“Well, I had a meltdown. I wasn’t performing well at work.”

(Can you blame her?)

“The more I wanted and needed my husband and wanted reassurance and validation, the more I was pushing him away. In working with you, I learned that I needed to stop trying to please my mom, I was able to let go of my anxiety.”

“I was looking for intensive marriage therapy and you popped up. I went back to your page numerous times before I contacted you. But I saw you genuinely care about people and you don’t have a clinical approach to things, an approach that is very sterile and unwelcoming.”

“I think a lot of people who are counselors don’t have any business being counselors. They might not be listening or they’re judgmental. And that’s not the purpose of counseling. But I really felt warmth from you and compassion from you.”

“The first thing I learned from you was helpful. I had to squash my wants and needs all my life. I have done myself a disservice through the years by putting myself last. That was a very hard exercise for me to do. From Module I, you’re really forced to look at yourself. This is about ME.”

So what did you learn in the program?

  • “My anxiety has gone down. I’m not taking the Lorezipam. It was under control in three months and the fourth month it was good.
  • My sleep is good; I’m not a crazy insomniac. I do take the Zoloft once in a while if I remember it.
  • I’m also not sitting here pining away for him to call and losing sleep over it.
  • By the next month or six weeks later, I was stopping myself doing naggy things. And I learned to stop chasing.
  • I’m not mopey or sad.
  • I don’t feel any shame for anything.
  • In regard to my husband and I, he brings a lot of his own dark stuff to the table and I learned that I can’t fix it.
  • I am no longer ruminating.
  • My OCD is not as bad.
  • I feel good.
  • I’m happy.
  • I’m looking forward to the next year being extremely successful for me.
  • I know that I’m a really good person at my core. Your program has been one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself.”

What advice do you have for my readers?

*”I think a person has to be in the right place to accept all of the teachings. They need to be in a place of acceptance. Accepting who they really are. Most people haven’t liked ourselves very much and then we use coping mechanisms to avoid dealing with ourselves.

*You have to be ready to face who you are and change behaviors that keep you in the same place. That was a big thing for me.”

*Don’t be too hard on yourself. You will foul up. I had the advantage of doing it by myself, so I come to the table for my next relationship as stronger.”

*But couples do need to do the program focusing solely on themselves. So they have the comfort of knowing who they are. It was a joyful experience for me. My boss even said to me, ‘This is the person I hired! The person that’s stellar at your job.’

If you can relate to this, we could talk about my 12-week intensive group and personal coaching program including 1:1 and joint therapy and the educational piece that brings all this stuff right down to Earth.

A big piece of it aims at overcoming neediness and the anxiety that comes from it. It teaches you how to develop self-confidence, assertiveness, and strong self-love.

Schedule to talk to me (its free) https://drdeb.com/talk and we will go over your specific situation to see if this program is a fit for you.

To get deeper into this information, please join my private group right here on Facebook and get a free gift

https://www.facebook.com/groups/LoveYourselfLoveYourMarriage

When you apply to join the group please fill out the information form so I can best help you!

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