For Successful Parenting, Tell Your Inner Child to Just Keep Out of This

REPRINTED WITH PERMISSION from the Florida Jewish News, p. 15 “I can’t do anything with her,” Mrs. Porter said plaintively, “I am absolutely starting to lose it.” “Starting?” her husband asked with genuine surprise and a roll of the eyeballs. “Listen,” he confided in me, “my wife’s just as bad as our seven-year old when they get going. You should hear them.” “Tell me more,” I said to Mrs. Porter. “To be honest,” she admitted, “he’s right. I don’t know how it all degenerates, but something inside me goes haywire every single time Sabrina acts up, and all the wonderful parenting tricks you’ve taught us go right outside the window.” Brain Efficiency Accounts For Automatic Reactions — But They May Be Out Of Place In Adult Interactions “Guess what?” I tell them, “You’re not alone. Your brain is causing this and we can get you out of it!” It’s at this point that I explain a little bit about how the human brain works and why the best mechanisms it has to offer can mess you up later on in life. Efficiency is one of the most outstanding characteristics of the human brain. In neurobiological terms this means that when childhood memories are recorded for future use, those memories are stored in very rough categories. “Harmful,” for example, could describe the face of a toy doll that resembles a frightening dog. As a child, when you’d see the doll-face, you might have gotten scared because it resembles the scary face of the big dog. As an adult, there’s no logical reason in the world why you should become momentarily...
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