Emotional Abuse & Power in Relationships

Have you ever thought about who in your family is in charge and how they got that way? When that person speaks, others listen. You might say that this item is political. Who has the power? Who gets to decide what happens? Who decides what is said, to whom, and when? And how did that happen? Did everyone agree that the one with the voice was better, smarter, more capable? Or was he/she just more intimidating? Or was there some very subtle stuff going on that somehow gave one person the power while robbing everyone else? If there was, that’s emotional abuse. Let’s take an example that just came up with someone I know. The wife, lets’ call her Betty, started to explain in some detail why she was able to get free to go out on an errand her husband wanted. She wanted to give him the message that her being able to go out was something of a sacrifice of her time. But, as she was talking, he cut her off: “Ok,” he said, “Get to the point.” So lets’ analyze this. Why should she get to the point? Because he decided? But she decided that she wanted him to hear the whole thing. Who is right? Who decides? Does he have the right to dictate how much she should speak? Just to play Devil’s Advocate, it is also a question whether she has the right to force him to listen when he feels imposed upon by sitting and hearing that whole story. So who is right??? The answer really is that in a healthy relationship they...
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