Is Jealousy Normal?

I wrote a post about someone, Caroline, who was hysterical after her husband, Phil, accused her of having an affair when she was not. He was relentless in his attack, even waking her in the middle of the night to “discuss” it. Her over-the-top reaction was normal under the circumstances. Next, “Caroline” wrote me that she was thrilled to find out that she was normal because her spouse really gave her good reason to yell. Uh-oh. So I wrote another post explaining how I felt about screaming and anger in general. Now “Caroline” wants to know if perhaps her husband is not normal for his jealousy. Why Jealousy Is Self-Defeating Let me be clear that jealousy is not good. It’s not helpful. Not only doesn’t it improve the relationship, but it’s one of those things that creates a self-fulfilling prophesy: It is guaranteed to push away the very person whose love you want. But is it normal? How To Raise A Child To Become A Jealous Adult Let’s take a look at Phil’s early relationships to see whether it would be normal for Phil. Phil grew up with hard-working parents. His mother was a high-powered corporate attorney and his father owned a successful business. There was always a nanny around who made sure that Phil ate and had clean clothes. He was not deprived of toys. He was smart and picked up two foreign languages from his nannys. As a small child, when he saw his parents, he whined for their attention and they brushed him off with cool statements to “grow up.” He never knew what was wrong...
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