How Not To Be In Denial

   “I don’t believe it. I don’t believe it” Roy kept saying. He was sitting at his desk in the corner of his office, alone in the dark. He was looking at his records and the unimpeachable truth was staring him in the face: Benjamin clearly had been doctoring the books. For years. Roy put his hand to his heart. He was not ready to calculate the cost that this amounted to. He was dazed and remembered to try to just breathe. Hours went by. “How had this happened?” he asked himself. Roy slowly moved his eyes off his screen and stared out the window, seeing the distant past. He recalled the first time he met Benjamin. What a nice young man! That was many years ago, but Roy still remembered the wonderful appearance he gave. He was so neat, so polite, so careful with his speech. So what happened? Where had things gone wrong? There was that incident five years ago that Roy brushed off. One of the managers had come to him, a bit concerned about a shipment that he, the manager, had never ordered. There was an amount of money on the books for it — and no merchandise. The money was unaccounted for. Roy remembered clearly that incident. He had waved his hand at the manger saying, “Benjamin will find it.” And when Benjamin didn’t report anything, he actually brought the matter to his attention. Later on, Benjamin reported it had been “taken care of” but that manager — what was his name? long since gone — told him that there was no indication it...

What’s Love?

How is it possible to love someone you never met, never saw, and know nothing about? It happens every day to hundreds of thousands of people. Just ask a pregnant woman how she feels about her unborn baby. Even more strange is how is it possible for a couple who is adopting a child they did not know to love that child? But they do. Why do grandparents fall madly in love with babies that they did not carry for nine months and do not get up to feed in the middle of the night? All the answers are the same: Beyond being a feeling, love is a decision. And just what are you deciding about when you decide to love that baby? Obviously, you are not governing your feelings by the loudness of the crying, the night’s sleep lost, the colic or the colds. Actually, some people are governed that way. They don’t react well to their babies’ cries; they take it out on the children and are called abusers. Which proves my point even more: You can focus on the good or focus on the bad. The choice is yours and the feeling follows. Take that and apply it to any close family member. Do you focus on the things that annoy you or the things that charm you? There are pitfalls and positives with both. Pitfalls of Focusing On The Good You would think that we ought to always focus on the good. That’s what giving the benefit of the doubt means. And that is absolutely correct. What’s more, we should overlook the injury our friend...

Denial: Do You Do That?

REPRINTED WITH PERMISSION from Natural Awakenings, p. 25 Human consciousness is a marvelous thing. It is more flexible than a yogi. For example: You are in a lecture that is definitely not going anywhere. You could be bored out of your mind, but lo and behold, your mind takes a little trip elsewhere and, before you know it, the stupid lecture is over. You walk out feeling not quite so bad about the lost time as you might have. Or, something painful just happened. Pick one-you got burned, a heavy object fell on your foot, your vegetable knife just pierced your skin. But, at that very moment, you see your toddler falling off a chair and you rush to the rescue. Five hours later, after the emergency doctor visit and the stitches for your baby, you notice your burn, crushed foot or whatever. Your Consciousness Knew What Was Most Important To Focus On You see, our minds are really very smart, much smarter than we realize. We can compartmentalize our conscious focus, as is the case in the above scenario or we can turn it completely off as was the case with the opening example. Why were we created that way? Well, if you think about it, that makes our consciousness supremely efficient. We don’t need to clutter it up with irrelevant things and we don’t need to use it at all when it needs a break! So where does denial come in? What looks like denial may really only be our consciousness not focusing on pain. Now, that makes sense, doesn’t it? If we were steeped in all...
Show Buttons
Share On Facebook
Share On Twitter
Share On Google Plus
Share On Linkdin
Hide Buttons