Conflict Resolution Requires Respect

Calista and Ben were bickering again. “I think going to a beach for a week would just be so boring,” Ben said, concerning their vacation plans. “Not only would I be bored but you would be, too. You think you just need to lay out in the sun and do nothing, but I know you; you’d get bored so quick. And then what? We’d be stuck on an island with little to do or we’d give it up and lose the rest of our deposit.” “Not at all,” Calista argued. We would have plenty to do. We could rent bikes. That would be so much fun. “Every day?” Ben retored. “Who are you kidding? That would get old, fast, too. Or the mosquitos would chase you back to the hotel.” “So what’s your idea of a great vacation—hiking? I have no energy for that. And camping? Please! Without a hot shower, I wouldn’t call it a vacation.” “No, we could get showers,” Ben replied reasonably. They have a main house with accommodations at one of the stops on the trail. It’s do-able. “We have an eight-year old,” Calista reminded. “Have you forgotten?” “I used to love camping when I was eight,” came Ben’s quick response. This could go on all night. There are people who tell me their “discussions” do go on all night, and sometimes into the next day. And longer. What’s wrong with this picture? Arguments Go Round and Round If you said, “It never ends, and that’s not the way marriage is supposed to be,” you’d be right. Why would Calista and Ben think it would...
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