by DrDeb Hirschhorn | May 14, 2008 | Marriage and Relationships
The kindergarten class was just simmering down after recess. Several little boys were hysterically giggling in a corner while the teacher attempted to get the class back to their seats. As she approached the gaggle of rowdies, she overheard snippets of conversation. A dark frown crossed her face. “Children!” she exclaimed, “That’s potty-language. Potty-language is not acceptable in our classroom!” But who could blame those kids? They were only doing what comes naturally. To five-year olds, parts of the body are fascinating. For the past two years they have proudly done their business in the potty, often without even missing. Rarely do they have accidents any more. Still, for the next three or four years, as the amazing capacities of their bodies reveal themselves, that will be a powerful source of enthrallment. And well it should be. We’ve got incredible machinery. It grows, rejuvenates itself every night, heals, learns, connects, and creates. The human body is wonderful. It ought to be a source of allure. Indeed, it remains captivating to hundreds of thousands of scientists who make their living studying every limb, bone, artery, neuron and synapse in an attempt to learn, help and heal our bodies. So why is it — please tell me — that there are millions of people who got fixated at age 5 and never got interested in the rest of the machinery? At the age of five, fixation on sexual organs is not a problem; it’s normal. At the age of forty-five, it’s a big problem. What happened to their regular adult development? Real Adults Appreciate Their Minds, Hearts, and Souls, Too I’ll...
by DrDeb Hirschhorn | Mar 3, 2006 | Marriage and Relationships
REPRINTED WITH PERMISSION from the Florida Jewish News, pp. 12, 20 One of my pet peeves is using the word “adult,” as in “adult movie” because, in fact, the nature of relationships in the so-called “adult” scene are so juvenile. Who watches such things? People with self-esteem and who esteem their significant other? People who know how to get satisfaction without manufacturing artificial means? People who know how to give satisfaction to those they love? Not at all. The people who have made that particular industry a billion-dollar industry are partially-developed people. What Does It Mean To Be “Adult”? So what is “adult,” then? A true adult is not afraid of intimacy. You see, the purveyors of the “adult” nonsense are capitalizing on people’s juvenile fears of real intimacy. They use fantasies to forget that they have such fears in much the same way that sad people often drink to forget their sorrows. I can see the owner of an “adult” website filled right now with righteous indignation. “Hah!” he’s saying. “That makes no sense. Not only are my people not afraid of intimacy, they engage in it all the time! In fact, they are so self-possessed and have so much self-esteem that they are completely uninhibited, completely comfortable—completely free—doing things that you [he’s shooting darts with his eyes as he speaks] may not be.” Actually, he may not want to, but he’s making my point for me. One of the loveliest developments of the last decade of the twentieth century was the awakening of desire on the parts of a large number of Americans to connect with their...
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